It is a truth universally acknowledged that cancer can suck it

This is Kate:



She's pretty fuckin' awesome. I can't even tell you how much. So when she told me that her grandfather's cancer had returned, I reacted as knitters react: I asked myself what I could knit for him. Being all sneaky-style as I am, I asked Kate if her grandfather had a shoe size, what shoe size he would have. Then a day later I asked her what his opinion was on the F-bomb.

Being also fucking clever, she replied that he would be totally down with a pair of socks that might happen to say "Fuck Cancer." That was good enough for me. A few days later I had these:



Someone asked me for the pattern, and I figured that since I was writing it up I may as well post it here. Make 'em for your loved ones, or your liked ones, or people you haven't even met yet.

Caveat Knitter: I haven't test knit this pattern. But the most important part is the chart, so use it as you will.

Cancer Can Suck It (Socks)

Yarn:
MC: 352 yds sport weight wool (I used 2 balls Lana Grossa Cool Wool 2000 with exactly enough for a 10.3” foot – approx. a man’s size 9)
CC: Not much sport weight wool (I used 1 ball Lana Grossa Cool Wool 2000 and had lots left over)

Needles:
Size 3 for the ribbing, 4 for stockinette. I knit pretty loosely, so you may have to go up a size for each.

Gauge: 6.5 stitches per inch in stockinette

Top ribbing:
Using size 4 needles cast on 52 stitches
Switch to size 3 needles, join in the round being careful not to twist
K2p2 around for 18 rows

Leg:
Switch to size 4 needles
Work plain around for 10 rows
Start fair isle lettering.

When you get to the yellow stitch: Pick up left leg of stitch below and to the right -- the one with the thicker border -- and knit that leg together with your next stitch. 

Work plain for 19 rows (or desired length)

Heel (feel free to substitute your own):
Working over half the stitches:
Row 1: *sl1, k1 repeat from * to end of row
Rows 2 and 4: sl1, purl to end
Row 3: sl1, *sl1, k1, repeat from * to last stitch, k1

Repeat until the heel flap is 2.3” ending with a purl row

K15, ssk, k1, turn work
sl 1, p5, p2tog, p1, turn work
Row 1: sl1, K to 1 stitch before gap, ssk, k1, turn work
Row 2: sl1, P to one stitch before gap, p2tog, p1, turn work

Repeat those two rows until all stitches on the heel have been worked, ending with a purl row.

Gusset:

Knit across heel flap, pick up 16 stitches on the side of the heel flap. Place marker. Knit across the top of the sock, place marker. Pick up 16 stitches on the heel flap.

Row 1: Knit to 3 stitches before marker, k2tog, knit to next marker, k1, ssk, work to end
Row 2: Work plain.

Repeat two rows until you’re back down to 52 stitches.

Foot:
Remove markers and work plain until the sock is 1.25” from being the final length.

Toe:
Switch to CC.

K26, place marker, k26, pm

Row 1: *k1, ssk, k to 3 before marker, k2 tog, k1, repeat from * to end
Row 2: Work plain

Repeat both rows until you have 24 stitches left (total). Graft toe closed.

Pardon me, my water needs lemonating

I have a very excellent story for all y'all, and I'm going to intersperse it with pictures from the sheep shearing (which was really more of a "farm-based colonial re-enactment" deal) that I attended last Saturday.

So! Three days last week I hauled over to my brother-and-very-pregnant-sister-in-law's house in the early early morning to let in their contractor who was fixing their drywall. As thanks they took me to a local hibachi restaurant named, conveniently, Hibachi.



As per usual in such places we shared our table with other groups, one of which consisted of three women. Our waiter came over to take our drink orders, and the first woman said she'd have "Water, with like six lemons." The waiter raised his eyebrow but kept going, which got the woman all flustered. The second woman ordered the same, and the first woman blurted out,



-- are you ready for this? --



"It's to dilute the poisons in the tap water."



My eyes slowly widened, and I turned to meet my brother and SIL's widened eyes looking back at me, as we suppressed guffaws of laughter. Don't get me wrong, I've said and believed more than one stupid thing in my life¹, but this is so many layers of absurd that it's just totally delicious².


(This rug had me covet all the necessary tools for rug-making. It was made by pulling loops of long, thin strips of recycled clothing up through woven cloth, instead of pieces of yarn through plastic mesh, like I did once upon a time).

We've gotten a LOT of humor mileage out of it ("I take my water lemonated, thanks").



Anyway! Yes. So. The chap on the left in this picture is Tank (the gentleman on the right is his father, who is interviewing the spinner for a local radio station), who alerted me to the sheep shearing opportunity. He was totally fascinated by the spinning process, and I have a (vague) plan in place to make him a spinner. It'll happen.

And no, I didn't come home with any wool. I know.

In other exciting news, I met up with Stacey and her fi-yon-cé while they were in Philly visiting his family.



We sat and barely drank our coffee and yammered for a long time about spinning, knitting, and everything else. I'd really only seen her two or three times before, and let me tell you, she kicks a substantial amount of ass. AND she gifted me some superwash roving, which I can't show you because I'm too busy spinning it.

I also (finally) finished some socks.



Final successful cast on: March something.

Finished weaving in the ends: April 19.

The originator: My own pattern.

The string: Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock in Vera

The sticks: Size 1 dpns.

Pattern shmattern: Toe-up, garter ribbing, purl ridge near the top (à la Roza's Socks), 2-stitch increases to accommodate my Curvy Calves and this experimental heel:



I'm calling it a Y heel because I've never seen one like it (has anyone else? I know it's a little hard to see in this picture) and it's shaped like a Y. I'm nothing if not clever. It needs some tweaking, but could end up being a really good thing.


¹ Like that being an English major would be a wise career move. It's a lie, by the way.
² Especially because the news has recently been reporting that lemons tend to be the most germ-tacular thing in restaurants.