Legwarmers, a play in 3 acts
Act 1
Me: Legwarmers are stupid! How often do your calves get cold, amirite?? Lulz.
Beth: I wear leg warmers.
Me: ...really?
Beth: Yeah, they really help keep me warm.
(later)
Me: Man, the boot-cut jeans are letting breezes in under the cuffs! They're making my... calves... cold...
(light bulb overhead)
Me: I've been such a fool!
Act 2
Me: I will make some plain legwarmers! Just 1x1 ribbing! Basic tubes, for my legs! But how much yarn will I need?
(sits at computer quietly)
Me: But all these patterns are giving wildly different yardages! I have no idea how much yarn I'll need!
(cue: dramatic music)
Me: I shouldn't buy new yarn. I have so much already! But no! There is not enough of any of my superwash wools! And I can't use non-washable, for the leg warmers will get dirty, and I don't want to hand wash them!
Perhaps I will do some colorwork, and since I have superwash wools in different colors! No, the colors I have are ugly together, and I want these to be simple. What about this yarn, whose colors are kind of ugly, but the yarn is so soft? No! Not superwash! And this? No! Ugly!
(days of constant researching later, complete with rings under eyes and crazyhair)
Me: Maybe... maybe just a little colorwork... With this hand-dyed wool -- it's not superwash I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT. And this nice... black Lana Grossa Cool Wool... The one skein should be enough... But there's that... pretty... pretty... star pattern from those socks... I could just... do some math...
(hours later, happily knitting along)
Me: [frown] Something doesn't seem right... *gasp!* The chart has an error!
(cue: dramatic music)
Me: Do I rip back? Or keep going? Rip back? Keep going? Rip back? Keep going... Keep going... Keep going...
(hours later)
Me: Shit, it's too small! NOOOOOOOOOO! [rips out back to the top band] How will I ever, ever finish these?
Act 3
Me: Finally! I have the first leg warmer! And it fits! But wait! What's this?! I'm out of the black wool?! Which I bought in Philly? Even though I'm living in North Carolina?! NOOOOOOO!
Me: Mom? Dad? I thought I'd come up to Philly for a visit! No no, no particular reason. Just to visit. Yessssss, to visit... heh heh heh... What? No, I'm fine.
(days later)
Me: Almost... there... just have to... sew down hem with elastic in...
Me: Could it be? It COULD! They're done! They're done! (prances around)
(later)
Me: Ahh, how did I live my life without leg warmers? I will wear them all the time! I will wear skirts in winter! I will wear them with impunity, and ward off the cold with my LEG WARMERS!
(cue: triumphant music)
(days later)
Me: Man, my knees are really cold.
(cue: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN)
13 comments:
Pretty!
Very nifty! I've decided that I need legwarmers too, after pooh-poohing them all these years.
Cold ankles will do that to you.
Emily, that was gripping!
They're gorgeous! Well done!
I'm having discussions with myself about whether I want to break down and knit the ever present Clapotis. so far, I've convinced myself that I don't NEED one.
Me likey your shin warmers :D
They are so cute! Well done!
You're amazing!
Wow, those are beautiful! And inspiring....
It is mine cap sustenance Projects 2011Commercial and Industrial roof MaintenanceGRS - world-wide Roofing Systems Canada Services Alberta, BC, and Saskatchewan with Commercial ceiling and roofing
company upkeep. even sustentation to the you mustiness
link Southward Florida Roofing Contractors. decision making on a
professional roofing company A professional, and the best avail
possible through our professional roofing mechanics and old age of roofing have.
Here is my homepage roofing los angeles
Εxсellеnt post. Ι'm facing many of these issues as well..
Feel free to visit my homepage ... hcg diet recipes
Үour own poѕt proviԁes proven nеcеsѕaгy to me ρersonally.
It’ѕ quite uѕeful and уоu're simply obviously very well-informed in this area. You have got opened my personal eye to be able to various thoughts about this particular subject together with intriguing and strong written content.
my web-site ... Buy CIALIS Online
Hey it is a real cool website
Also visit my page; tips to get pregnant
Post a Comment