Tuesday, July 10, 2007

In which I learn some valuable lessons and maybe use some bad words, plus some maths

My home internets is out so updating is tricky. Just so's you know.

I got comissioned by one of the lawyers in my office to knit a hat for her sister's impending baby. I sent her some options and brought in hats I'd made, and she browsed a while and then picked one.

She picked this.

Okay. I don't get knitted food, but fine, other people like it, that's cool. But good gravy y'all -- that thing is ALL BOBBLES.



Which is when I learned the first lesson: if comissioned, only give options of things you really, truly care to knit.

But I said I would, took a quick trip to the store for some basic cotton and got to work. The crust bit was easy enough (though I'm a little worried about the inelasticity of the ribbing), but then I started the bobbles. Those of you who have worked with bobbles and cotton before already know my second lesson.

For those of you who haven't done either of those things, you should know that 1. cotton has very little elasticity, and 2. bobbles are a pain in the ass can involve something like "purl 3 together." The conclusion that we can then draw is that cotton + bobbles = those kinda scary painful hand twinges.

I finished two bobbles and called it a night, and when I was lying in bed I realized that I had some red cashmerino in my stash. My hands are saved, and I'm one row of bobbles down! Only fifty ka-skillion to go!

So the other lesson I learned isn't knitting related, but it's always fun to share embarrassing stories, so here we go.

I, like most Amurikens, had the 4th of July off to celebrate our country's independence by setting fire to explosives and ingesting poison (mmm, margaritas! Go America!). Like any reasonable human I was most looking forward to sleeping in, and did so at length. But first I woke up at 8am with a dry mouth caused by my dear love the air conditioner.

Being a clever sort I had a glass of water next to my bed. I took a drink, put the glass back, and slept again. A second later I woke up to something dripping on my arm (which was near my head, thankyouverymuch). My pillow was wet! And dripping! And there was a giant wet spot on top of my comforter (or "douna").

Turns out that I'd, um, skipped that middle step of "putting glass back on desk" and went straight to "pass right the fuck out."

Which brings us to our second equation, which is: foofy bed + glass of water = awake stupid early, dammit.

I also might have a vague recollection of setting the glass down on the bed, as though my 1. winter-weight comforter (or "douna"), 2. featherbed, and 3. mattress were supposed to somehow keep it upright like that commercial where they put the glass of red wine on the mattress and the dude with the shorts and tall-ass white socks (why?!) jumps ever-so-carefully on the bed to be all "ooo, the glass didn't fall over." It is possible I was channeling that commercial. A cunning plan, to be sure.

In the end I turned my comforter ("douna") around, threw a blanket over the wet bit of mattress, and fell right back asleep. And later told everyone about how I spilled water on myself at 8am.

Also, Grace tagged/nominated me for this award/meme/thing:

And I get to nominate five people, so here goes:
1. Tanya! Y'all, she's been really super-helpful with my NZ trip. She rocks like whoa. And makes some gorgeous cupcakes.
2. NikKnits. She designs AND is hilarious. An excellent thing, to be sure.
3. Elinor. She always knits gorgeous stuff, posts lovely pictures, and has a doubleplus cute wee bairn.
4. Heather. Knits like the wind. Braver traveler than me!
5. Amy. She occasionally reads my mind, pattern and yarn-wise. She's knitting the Swallowtail Shawl AND the Tomten sweater (both in my queue) and we bought the same yarn at SAFF:


Nik said...

I'd, um, skipped that middle step of "putting glass back on desk" and went straight to "pass right the fuck out."

I'm still laughing.

grace said...

I still think that spilling water on the bed is MUCH better than say, peeing in the bed.

elizabeth said...

Thou shalt not drink and sleep. Amen.

Mojitos were my poison. Ouch.

Kate Christ said...

That makes me feel not so dumb about the time I spilled coffee on my head in bed in a similar fashion.

Heather said...

Great more blogs to read! I had too much time on my hands. Thanks for the nomination and the recommendations!

Stick said...

eeeeewwww Bobbles SUCK!

Tanya said...

Am I the only one who thinks it is odd that they want a hat called "tart"? Now I know tart isn't commen usage in the US however I wouldn't make a baby hat called Jam Skank! Bobbles are hell. You are a good person, just keep repeating that to yourself. Thank you for the meme, ummm, not really. I try not to think about high school, it may be the reason I left Auckland! Could I pretend to be someone else? Uggghhhh! Someone I would like, high school, yuck, what a terrible thing to do to children!